I understand that sometimes you feel that you are not even trying. You know the one who try succeed. But what if I am not even trying hard.

Remember that in this time not even your most close person can help you. Because it's your battle. It is going to make you way more stronger than you are now. Everything happens for a reason.

Strength

No one can stop the sun to rise. There will be a refreshing morning after every night no matter how dark the night was. Till then embrace the beauty of darkness, silence, fear and courage.

Night

You think this suffering will never end. All the days are same and everything feels in a loop. The same mistake again and again. Nor the tears are false and nor that sadness. You real feel guilty after doing it but you still repeat it.

Loop

It feels the only person I hate is me. But my dear everything has an end. But what if it ends so late that I don't have the time to fix what went wrong. This suffering will be gone just for the arrival of a new one.

Time

But what if you succeed in your next try. I know you are hopeless but you haven't gave up. So instead of being scared of " what if " change your routine. This problem is yours that means GOD knows that only you have the solution that's why he gave you this problem.

Every Problem Has Solution

Never give up you never know how close you were to success. You are meant for great heights. This problem is nothing infront of you. You can conquer it my friend. Just give a hard try this time.

Never Give Up

"Let me try once again for a last time", say this sentence everytime you fail. You are worth it and after 10 years you will be proud of your younger self to be this strong. Best of luck. Remember the luck increases as your hardwork and dedication increases.

Increase Your Luck

This is just a not so important thing which came to my mind. It's not that good but I wrote whatever was on my mind. This will not solve your problem but it will make you feel that you are not alone that feel this way. Good Luck My Friend.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

mindfulness

Mindfulness

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

mentalhealth

Mental Health

I Believe You

Imagine being surrounded by people.Someone says something that sounds familiar. It’s a story you already lived. And you want to share your experience.You clear your throat and wait for the best opportunity to slide in. Then, you start talking. And for a moment, everything seems fine. Everybody focuses on you. But as you go ahead, they lose interest.

When People Lose Interest

That’s the worst thing that could happen to your storytelling abilities. But don’t panic!I’ve made these mistakes myself – hundreds of times. And I can guarantee you can fix them. There’s no need to feel guilty or needy. But you must get to the heart of the problem.

The Worst Feeling When Telling A Story

First, you must understand why people are distracted when somebody’s telling a story.Be careful – I don’t care about <a href="https://www.cosmopolitanmindset.com/20-dangerous-time-wasters-and-why-you-should-stop-them/">generic distractions </a>we use to waste time. I am talking about those that occur during a conversation.I made many mistakes myself while becoming a better storyteller. And I found at least three reasons why people stop listening.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">They lose interest in your story because there’s no added value to what you’re saying.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">An external interference catches everyone’s attention before you hook them with your story.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Or people didn’t notice you were telling a story.</li></ul>

Why do people get distracted?

When I was younger, I knew nothing about storytelling.People didn’t listen to me. They found me boring. And they had no problems saying that to my face. But I was so afraid of losing them that I accepted everything.After years, my confidence grew, and I didn’t accept those behaviors anymore. And as I started to speak up, everybody hooked on my confidence. So, here are five storytelling mistakes that almost ruined my life and a few solutions to fix them.

5 Storytelling Mistakes That Almost Ruined My Life

Pook hooks have always been my weak point – a strong admission by someone who claims to be a writer.But, in my defense, writing hooks and using them while speaking is different.When you talk to people, you don’t have too much time to think about a great hook. You may hook them with experience and instinct, or you may not.

1 – Using poor hooks. (1)

People won’t listen to your story if you don’t have a strong hook. They will get distracted by everything:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">their smartphones</li><li class="ql-align-justify">another story</li><li class="ql-align-justify">or even a random thought wavering through their mind.</li></ul>So, how can you fix this problem?

1 – Using poor hooks. (2)

There are plenty of ways you can keep people hooked to your story. But these two do wonders.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Use foreshadowing to present an unexpected consequence. People will want to know how you got there.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Start with a question to make people think. They will want to share their story and pay attention to find an entry point.</li></ul>

How to Keep People Hooked

Any investment expects a return. And you may want to gain something when you invest your time in somebody’s story.You’re reading this article for the same reason – there are lessons you want to know. And you apply the same while listening to someone, even if you don’t realize it.So, as I did with the headline, the value of the story should always be some of the first things you share. The link with the audience fades out when the value isn’t clear. And if you keep making this mistake, everybody will stop listening and find a way out.

2 - Giving unclear value.

Giving value is simple when you know your story’s goal. So, before sharing value, ask yourself – what’s this story about?<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Your value may be excitement if your story is funny.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">It might be empathy if you’re trying to build an emotional connection.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Or you may share a life update. In that case, the value would be your current situation.</li></ul>Every time you tell a story, put your value first. Prepare people for what they are going to get once you finish. Let them know if your story is fun, sad, exciting, unbelievable, etc. Put your value first, and they will keep listening.

How to Give People Value

Confident people attract others – there’s nothing you can do about it. And there are many ways you can become more confident.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">You can fake it until you make it. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">You can use self-irony. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Or you can <a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/p/the-secrets-of-charisma">become more charismatic </a>by applying the rules I shared in many of my articles.</li></ul>But one thing will impact your storytelling more than anything else – your body language. Confusing body language will give people time to get distracted and lose empathy with your story. So, even if you did everything correctly, they will lose interest and find a way to leave.

3 – Using confusing body language.

Improving your <a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/p/how-to-improve-your-body-language?utm_source=publication-search">body language skills </a>will improve your life. But storytelling only needs two things.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">First, you must make eye contact with the right people. In each group, a few people define what the group does. And if you catch their attention, the group will listen to you.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">And second, you must speak out loud. Don’t give people the impression you are not confident about your story. And don’t be afraid they won’t listen. Many people may not hear you and ignore your story if your voice is low.</li></ul>

How to Use Body Language

Go to the point. And do it fast.You must tell people how you reached the expected result of your foreshadowing in under two minutes. Otherwise, they will stop listening.Don’t worry if it’s not perfect or if there are some missing parts. If they’re interested, they will ask. But for god’s sake – don’t make us wait five minutes for a story we might not even enjoy.If I were your only listener, I would leave you pending if you ever try to do something like this to me.

4 – Telling long stories.

Keep it short — it is a simple suggestion. But doing it, it’s challenging.How do you make a story short?What do you keep? And what do you remove?<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Follow the 5W method and say a sentence for each question – who, when, where, what, why.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Could you focus on what you foreshadowed in the hook?</li><li class="ql-align-justify">And keep everything under two minutes. Leave further information for later. Hiding some parts of the story could also be beneficial and intriguing.</li></ul>

How to Tell Short Stories

You will never become a good storyteller if you don’t practice with your stories enough. Here’s a list of the things you must know:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">one story for each situation </li><li class="ql-align-justify">how to enhance each story without losing credibility</li><li class="ql-align-justify">how to recognize good entry points and hooks </li><li class="ql-align-justify">and which people you should address to remain at the center of attention.</li></ul>You may even become a good storyteller in your group. But storytelling works best in groups you don’t know when you need to make a good first impression. That’s why you must train a lot in your comfort zone before telling your stories out of it.

5 – Missing enough practice.

I already wrote an article about <a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/p/3-simple-rules-to-boost-your-storytelling">storytelling and its practice </a>. But I will write a few more suggestions here.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Practice in front of the mirror. Once you find a story with value, try to say it by yourself without any group pressure and without thinking about the details.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Practice with close friends. The best advantage of your comfort zone is the possibility to experiment without repercussions. So, try out different versions of the story with your friends and find out which works best. Then, collect feedback from their questions to stop promising value points.</li></ul>

How to Practice Storytelling

Mistakes will forge a good storyteller. But some mistakes could ruin your life – especially when people don’t listen to you.You will become insecure. You will stop trying. And you will become a member of the group nobody cares about.But if you want to emerge, avoid these five mistakes and improve your storytelling abilities from the beginning.Think about your hooks and values. Use the correct body language. Keep your stories short. And practice them in your comfort zone.

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The Challenge

Do you want to improve your storytelling skills? Learn how to avoid these five common storytelling mistakes that could ruin your story.

productivity

Productivity

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

5 Storytelling Mistakes That Almost Ruined My Life (and How To Fix Them Now)

One minute manager is a book written by Ken Blanchard and Spencer Johnson. It is one of the few books that have stood the test of time. Part of the reason might be that it shows 3 really simple rules for effective management. There is no "complicated" words and nothing too fancy. Just technique proven with time.

Introduction

The first idea is that there should be a clear goal that could be explained and understood in one minute. Working without a clear goal in mind is like playing bowling, without knowing that the target is to clear the kegels. You just roll the ball and don't know what to expect. Is hitting the kegels a good or a bad thing? It is the same in work, if you can't set a clear goal for your employees, you can't expect them to be successful at what they do. And the blame is not theirs.

One minute goal setting

The second idea is one minute praise. Most people only point out the mistakes, but never really give praise for a job well done. They expect that the job should be well done by default and this requires no need for further discussions. But as humans, no matter how complicated we think we are, we still operate on some primitive principles. Think of when you train your puppy to do tricks, you first show him the trick and upon successful copying of the trick - you reward him with a 'treat'. In other words, you give him 'one minute praise', which in turn motivates him even more to do good job.

One minute praise

Nothing is always perfect. People make mistakes, but they should not be ignored. If ignored, only more will follow. Hence, here comes the one minute reprimand. You point out the mistake. The more specific you are - the better. The focus here should not be to attack the person behind the mistake or his abilities, but centre on the situation. Then, this is followed by a short silence, so the employee can reflect. After which, you pat him on the shoulder (showing him how valuable he is to you) and point out that he is capable of much more.

One minute reprimand

The 3 main ideas showed in the book are:<ol><li class="ql-align-justify">One minute goal setting.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">One minute praise.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">One minute reprimand.</li></ol>

Recap

3 Simple ideas that you could use to manage effectively.

education

Learning & Education

books

Books

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

One Minute Manager: 3 Simple Ideas for Effective Management 

Fake friends will shower you in love and praise until you are weak and vulnerable. Then they will attack, hoping to destroy you when you are most defenseless.

Fake friends 

Shogun is a novel written by James Clavell and was recently adapted in a film series by FX. It is about the battle for power between the daimyos. Well, it is a lot more than that, but that's the main theme. Proven through history, not the strongest survive, but the smartest, most adaptable to the situation.One should be willing to learn from anything, be it from movies, books or everyday life. Well, in Shogun there are many hidden wisdom gems that we can learn from.

Keep your enemies guessing and it is even better if you make them guess wrong. It is really hard to win a battle, if you do not know your enemies true intentions. And the opposite is also true, it is much easier to defeat an opponent if you know his moves in advance. That's why you should strive to conceal your next moves to your opponent. The surprise will increase your chances of winning by a lot. Toranaga is a master of this, he never really showed his true intentions to anyone, even to his closest people.

Do not show your true intentions to your 'enemies'

You should strive to make decisions that are logical, instead of emotional. Emotional decisions are rarely the correct ones. Instead try to look the situation from above. Play the situation, but remove yourself from the main role. Instead put some random person, but do not change the circumstances. Now, ask yourself what is the best move for the random person you've just placed. What should he do? How should he react? This helps a lot in making your decisions rational instead of emotional. Toranaga never really made an emotional decision, even if it was related to his closest circle.

Do not make emotional decisions

No matter the situation, plan it in advance. Imagine you are playing chess, the best players are the ones who can plan (correctly) the most moves ahead. The better you are at 'predicting' the most likely outcomes, the more likely you are to win. Make a simulation about the situation, imagine that you do X, how will things play out? What will the counterparty do? What's your move then and so on. Usually if you are able to plan 2 moves ahead, that will make a big change. 5 is ideal. Toranaga made sure that everything was planned out to the closest detail.

Plan in advance

Let's bring back the chess concept. You should not only plan for what your opponent will do next, but also plan your best response to this move. Well, if we are to go one step beyond, you should make such moves that your opponent doesn't have any good options. No matter what he does, you are still in better position. This was perfectly played out by Toranaga when he sent Mariko to Osaka. No matter how Ishido would have responded to the request of freeing the 'hostages', Toranaga would have gained an advantage. He simply gains better position WHEN his opponent responds (no matter HOW).

Think of the best moves

Let's recap:<ol><li class="ql-align-justify">Do not show your true intentions to your enemies</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Do not make emotional decisions</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Plan in advance</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Make the best moves</li></ol>That's only some of the lessons that could be extracted from this gigantic wisdom of power play.

Conclusion

What can we learn from the wisest daimyo in Shogun: Toranaga?

history

History

movies

Movies & Shows

politics

Politics

Toranaga: the wisest daimyo in Shogun

Things that our mind can process easily will make us overconfident.When we see someone does hard thing effortlessly, we often think we can do it too.When we see a final product that looks perfectly normal, we think the process leading to that is also easy and smooth.When we see a great book that is easy to read, we think it’s also easy to write it, while the opposite is true.

The Fluency Effect

“We are frequently overconfident about the extent of our knowledge—we think we know more than we really do.”

We have a tendency to confirm what we already believe.Because of this, we only focus on finding confirming evidences, even though seeking evidences that will say otherwise is equally important.This is dangerous for us, especially if what we believe is not a factual truth.If we’re looking for truth, we must look for disconfirming evidence even though it makes us uncomfortable.

Confirmation Bias

“Confirming data is necessary but not sufficient, because you also need to disconfirm your hypothesis.”

We often underestimate time and effort required to complete a task. That’s why we miss deadlines, exceed our budget, or run out of energy before we finish.To overcome this, we need to come up with specific and detailed plan. We need to divide the task into smaller ones that we can estimate more accurately.

Planning Fallacy

“The perceived fluency of an impending task makes us underestimate the difficulty of executing”

There are multiple cues that people use to infer causality of an event:<ul><li>Similarity</li><li>Sufficiency</li><li>Necessity</li><li>Abnormality</li><li>Recency</li><li>Controllability</li></ul>

Causal Attribution

“One of the most important functions of causal reasoning is to control future events. We want to avoid mishaps and repeat good outcomes by identifying the reasons each happened.”

We often feel anecdotes from people we know more persuasive than scientific evidence. This is because we don’t understand statistics well.3 key concepts we must always remember:<ol><li>Law of Large Number (more data in a sample, more accurate conclusion)</li><li>Regression Toward the Mean (extreme result will be followed by moderate ones)</li><li>Bayes’ Theorem (just because probability of A given that B occurs is high, it doesn’t mean that probability of B given A occurs is also high)</li></ol>

Key Concepts in Statistics

“The more observations we make, the more accurately we can generalize the pattern to cases we have not yet observed or make predictions about the future.”

People weigh negative information more than positive information. According to revolutionary work by Kahneman and Tvetsky, we treat the same monetary values differently, depending on whether they are gains or losses. This is called loss aversion.We have this bias because our ancestors were living on the line, small error can cost them their life. So it’s better to play safe.

Negativity Bias

“Our preferences and choices are based on how the options are framed rather than the options per se.”

When we see or experience new things, our existing belief and knowledge will color our judgment and interpretation about it. This is how our cognition works.This top down processing happens automatically and spontaneously, whether we want it or not. To overcome this, we need external help to review our perspective and change it into a more healthier view of the world.

Biased Interpretation

“Sometimes, it’s easier and better to focus on solving the problems caused by different perspectives than trying to change those perspectives themselves.”

When we perceive something, we interpret it based on what we already know.We believe that everybody else, including people who don’t posses what we know, would see the situation similarly that we do.This is a common cause of communication problem.We need to put ourselves in everybody else’s shoes and take their perspective to be better at communication. We also need to ask questions more.

Curse of Knowledge

“Often our communication failures occur simply because we neglect to consider the other person’s perspective.”

An ability to delay short term rewards to prioritize long term outcomes is a positive trait and it highly correlates with success in the long run.However, it’s also important for us to enjoy the process, not just the final goal. This will increase our probability to avoid physical and mental health issues at our young age.

Problem of Delayed Gratification

“The decisions we make for ourselves should be as impartial as possible and based on statistical principles and probability theories, because they provide the most accurate predictions”

This book is based on a popular course in Yale University and is written by the professor.

“An INVALUABLE RESOURCE to anyone who wants to think better.” —Gretchen Rubin Award-winning YALE PROFESSOR Woo-kyoung Ahn delivers “A MUST-READ—a smart and compellingly readable guide to cutting-edge research into how people think.” (Paul Bloom) “A FUN exploration.” —Dax Shepard Psychologist Woo-kyoung Ahn devised a course at Yale called “Thinking” to help students examine the biases that cause so many problems in their daily lives. It quickly became one of the university’s most popular courses. Now, for the first time, Ahn presents key insights from her years of teaching and research in a book for everyone. She shows how “thinking problems” stand behind a wide range of challenges, from common, self-inflicted daily aggravations to our most pressing societal issues and inequities. Throughout, Ahn draws on decades of research from other cognitive psychologists, as well as from her own groundbreaking studies. And she presents it all in a compellingly readable style that uses fun examples from pop culture, anecdotes from her own life, and illuminating stories from history and the headlines. Thinking 101 is a book that goes far beyond other books on thinking, showing how we can improve not just our own daily lives through better awareness of our biases but also the lives of everyone around us. It is, quite simply, required reading for everyone who wants to think—and live—better.

problemsolving

Problem Solving

Woo-kyoung Ahn

Thinking 101

Without transparency of our thoughts the communications becomes a twisted mazes

Transparency

philosophy

Philosophy

parenting

Parenting

communication

Communication

Human Interactions 

Argues that the mind is an independently existing substance - the mental does not have extension in space, and the material cannot think. This is the type of Dualism most famously defended by Descartes, and it is compatible with most theologies which claim that immortal souls occupy an independent "realm" of existence distinct from that of the physical world.

Substance Dualism (or Cartesian Dualism)

sserts that mental events are causally inert (i.e. have no physical consequences). Physical events can cause other physical events, and physical events can cause mental events, but mental events cannot cause anything, since they are just causally inert by-products of physical events which occur in the brain (i.e. epiphenomena) of the physical world. This doctrine was first formulated by Thomas Henry Huxley in the 19th Century, although based on Thomas Hobbes' much earlier Materialism theories.

Epiphenomenalism

Argues that more than one predicate (how we describe the subject of a proposition) is required to make sense of the world, and that the psychological experiences we go through cannot be redescribed in terms of (or reduced to) physical predicates of natural languages.

Predicate Dualism

artificialintelligence

Artificial Intelligence

scienceandnature

Science & Nature

3 Dualist schools of thought

Knowledge is the awareness and understanding of particular aspects of reality. It is the clear, lucid information gained through the process of reason applied to reality. The traditional approach is that knowledge requires three necessary and sufficient conditions, so that knowledge can then be defined as "justified true belief".

Knowledge

The property of sentences, assertions, beliefs, thoughts, or propositions that are said, in ordinary discourse, to agree with the facts or to state what is the case.false propositions cannot be known - for something to count as knowledge, it must actually be true. As Aristotle famously (but rather confusingly) expressed it: "To say of something which is that it is not, or to say of something which is not that it is, is false. However, to say of something which is that it is, or of something which is not that it is not, is true."

Truth

A subjective attitude that a proposition is true or a state of affairs is the case. One cannot know something that one doesn't even believe in, the statement "I know x, but I don't believe that x is true" is contradictory.

Beliefs

is the right standing of a person’s beliefs with respect to knowledge, though there is some disagreement about what that means precisely. Some argue that right standing refers to whether the beliefs are more likely to be true. Others argue that it refers to whether they are more likely to be knowledge. Still others argue that it refers to whether those beliefs were formed or are held in a responsible or virtuous manner.

Justification

strategy

Strategy

artsandculture

Society, Arts & Culture

What is Knowledge

The idea that one should stick to only educational content or a specific type of content is false at core.It's simple, educational, fun, family and friends all are important, but the problem lies in social media algorithms promoting things you like more than content that might be beneficial for you.Restrict pages you follow for fun such as memes, vines and celeb pages. Have a maximum limit of 10 on them.Do not scroll reels.

Rebuild Your Social Media With Relevancy

Don't be convinced looking at just one side of things.Everyone has different opinions about different things. You'll find both good and bad in it and guess what?? Both of them will have research to back it's answers, dive deep and pick the most logical answer that fits your set of circumstances and your body.If logic fails to convince you of the side to take then listen to your inner being, it has the knowledge of the universe. It knows what it wants and what is best for you! Relax and make your decision.

Question The Content

Have you ever visited the research papers to find out what's good and bad about the food you're eating? I'm sure you have. But, did it leave you confused with cancer, obesity and diabetes on one side and vitamins, minerals and protein on the other?If yes, then you need to look at two things, one is your belly area tightly does it feel good when it goes inside your body, does it cause bloating, excess fat, heatburn or other symptoms? If it's causing any of the two you need to remove it and add new gradually add back to see what works and what dosent.The other problem you might want to look at i<warningtag>s a tightened stomach, relax an</warningtag><warningtag>d</warningtag><warningtag> blow it make it flexible.</warningtag><warningtag></warningtag>

Food Paradox : The Researches Are Confusing You.

Sooner or later we will realise that the world has already moved to a place from which there is no return. The chaos and destruction we've brought upon mother nature will come back to us.Capitalism and Mass production are reasons to blame. If you're wondering, why's that? That's because apart from the essentials to live like food, water, clothes and shelter you don't really need anything. But these companies created demands and desires are ruthlessly claiming the minds of people. Luring them with feelings of pride and feeling of completion.Don't give in to what crowd believes in. Be Free!

Environmental Degradation Is The Real Deal!

"All demand is Created"

The face that people show on social media is not real and neither are their lives perfect. It's shrouded in their desire to make money out of your following and achieving a sense of superiority.Look for real people around you and not on a television or a mobile phone or a computer.

Don't Listen To Influencers

Most of us are hypocrites, we say we're gonna do the work but we don't, we say we are gonna start but we never do. We say it and we don't? Ever wondered why? Even when you know what is right you are unable to accomplish it? The problem lies in "saying it", don't say it out aloud until you do it so take action then say it.

Don't Lie To Yourself

Internet is bombarding us with information every minute, reducing attention spans like petrol in hot air. If you're thinking about the consequences... It's no less than lighting fire in that air. The result is low satisfaction, goldfish memory, indecisiveness etc. etc. What to do?

health

Health

habits

Habits

Over Information and the right-wrong paralysis.

Find 100+ Psychology Facts about Human Behaviour, Mind or Nature - Curated from Videos, Podcasts, Books & Articles - Genuine Insights from Other People